Fixing Mistakes
by AtlasDown
Summary: Jade knows she is a bad person, she doesn't like it, but that's the way it is. She also knows most people know enough not to be hurt by her, but what happens when she finds Tori crying because of her? Femme slash just kissing for now. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** **You really think that an unemployed teenager owns Victorious? This is worse than I thought…**

**a/n So I've had this ff account for **_**ages**_**! Well I finally wrote something! Yay! *is proud of herself* so anyway, this is my first fanfic ever! Funny story (To my tired mind anyway): I was trying to think of a name for this and all I could think of was "jadism" which is a story by demondreaming, who is like my idol. So, ignore the lame name and read the dang story already!**

I am a bad person. I know this, I've accepted it. Because no matter how hard I try to be better it never works out. So I've learned to go with it. I let the poison spew out of my mouth and I hurt people. It's who Jade west is. Most of the people at Hollywood Arts are used to it; they've known me long enough to build up a slight defense. But then Tori Vega came along. Poor, weak, unprepared Tori. I swear I didn't think about it, I didn't mean to be so cruel to her; I just took it for granted that she would shrug it off like the rest of the people I pick on. And I thought she was, I mean no like being picked on, but she didn't seem any more bothered by it that anyone else.

So when I walked in to the bathroom after school I thought that the sounds of crying were fake. I mean, this school is full of people who practice at random times. In fact it kind of annoyed me how often people will do weird stuff and than say, "I'm practicing".

"Shut the fuck up!" I said banging on the door. Apparently I hit harder than I thought because the lock snapped. "Can't you practice somewhere else," I continued as I opened the door. I froze, "Tori?" She was sitting on the toilet with her feet curled up under her, and those were not fake tears on her face. She looked up her eyes wide in fear. I shuffled awkwardly in the doorway, I knew friends were supposed to try and comfort each other, right? I can do comfort, I can do it-

"What's the matter with you?"

Oops, that didn't come out the way I wanted. I was going for concerned and caring friend, but I sounded more like annoyed bitch.

She gaped at me for a little while before standing up, her eyes flashing with anger. "What's the matter with me? With me? What's the matter with you! I though "new school, fresh start" right?"

I said nothing, just watching her, trying to figure out how to fix this. She stomped closer to me, "But you hate me!" she poked me in the chest "I don't know what I did to you!"

I didn't know what she was talking about; I didn't hate her, not really. In fact I had always kind of liked her more than everyone else. "I don't hate you Tori," I snorted. Oh, snorting was not fitting in with the "caring" vibe I was going for. Maybe I should stop talking now. "Yes you do!" her voice got higher and I could see the genuine hurt in her eyes. What was strange was, it made me feel bad. Like I said I've accepted that I will never be able to be a "good" person, so it doesn't bother me when people are hurt by me. But this was different, the look in Tori's eyes, was making me feel… funny inside.

"You are always insulting me and putting me down and-"

I don't know why I did it. I mean I guess I just wanted her to shut up. And like I said, I really kind of liked her. But all I know for sure is that one second I was listening to her rant and the next I was pressed close to her and I was… kissing her. One hand on her face, tilting her chin up and one on her hip; it wasn't much of a kiss, she just stayed there, not kissing back, but not pulling away either. Her lips were soft and warm, and this felt a lot different than kissing Beck. And maybe I should've felt guilty about Beck, but our love life had been pretty cold between us for a while.

But this kiss was making me feel things I hadn't ever felt with Beck. I just kissed her to shut her up, but maybe there was something else to this. I already knew I liked her more than most people, but maybe I liked her even more than I knew.

I pulled back a little, and I could taste her on my lips.

"I don't hate you." I whispered, keeping my hands planted on her. I stole another kiss before saying "Believe me now?" she looked kind of dazed, I wondered if she was just too shocked to pull away from me or if she was enjoying this as much as me. She looked up into my eyes and I don't think I've ever seen eyes as stunning as hers. I wiped her cheeks, brushing away the tears.

"J-jade?" she had this adorable confused look on her face. She raised her hands up to my face and touched my cheek with trembling hands.

"Yeah?" I smirked. I rubbed her cheek with my thumb.

"This isn't another one of your tricks is it? You're-you're not just messing with me?" her voice was trembling now too, and I could see the emotion threatening to spill in her eyes. I kissed her again, savoring the feeling of her lips on mine. This time she kissed me back. I thought that the first kiss had felt good, but this was _wow_. Tori is a good kisser.

Finally the need to breathe became urgent and we broke apart, breathing hard.

"It's not a trick" I said. I pressed my fore head to hers and looked into her eyes to see if she believed me.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and moved even closer to me.

"Then what is this Jade?" she buried her face into my neck like she was afraid to hear the answer.

I started rubbing her back in small circles.

"What do you want it to be?"

**a/n Well tell me what you thought! Don't just sit there like a lemon! Lemons… such naughty implications now… my parents wonder why I blush when I hear that word… Anywho, This could be just a one shot or I might try to turn it into a multi chapter thingy-ma-jiggers. Review and tell me what you think I should do! Or, you know, I'll die or something.**

**Edit: some grammer, a few things that I saw in my head but neglected to put down, yada yada. I probably change some more, because I'm kinda obsessive about editing…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I have no Idea why anyone even does these. I mean if you owned the show, wouldn't you be writing the script for it instead of hanging out on ff? Oh well, yeah, I disclaim Victorious.**

**a/n** ** I'm kind of pathetic. Because I get 1 review and my life is complete. Like, if a rabid kitten came along right now and killed me, it would be okay, because OH MY GOD SOMEONE REVIEWED AND THEY LIKED MY STORY! And they also said I should continue with this, so if it turns out awful, it's totally their fault. **

We didn't get a chance to talk right after our kiss because some teacher came in and said I was needed back at the project I was working on. But before I'd left Tori had reached up and given me a goodbye kiss, so I had been pretty sure about how she felt. But now, she was just avoiding me. She'd catch me looking at her and she would look away with a blush. She'd sit on the opposite end of the table from me, acting like the salad in front of her was the most important thing in the world. She was making me wonder about what had happened. I thought that she had liked it as much as me, but we hadn't talked about it yet and it had already been a week.

It was killing me. Maybe she was bothered that me and Beck were still together? I could fix that.

Me and Beck, we have something special. We have an unspoken agreement that we are really just dating because we don't want to be bothered by anyone else. It's easier to fend off people when you have a handy boyfriend to pull out. But even though we only kiss in public, we are still friends. So it's wasn't strange when I called him and said, "Can we meet someplace? I need to talk to you," because he was used to me needing to vent emotions to him.

We met at the local café and sat down. He raised his eyebrows, "So…"

"So…" I echoed.

He reached out and grabbed my hands which were on the table, wringing and twisting together. I guess I was more nervous than I thought. I mean, even though we knew we were better as friends, we had gotten comfortable with the image everyone else saw. I didn't want to hurt him. What if he didn't think about all of this the same way I did?

"Jade, you know you can tell me whatever it is that's bothering you," he gave my hands a squeeze before letting them go and leaning back in his chair.

"yeah, I know, I just-" I was still fidgeting."I just don't want to hurt you"

His eyebrows went up again in surprise, "Did you kill my dog?"

"What? Beck you don't even have a dog," what was he talking about?

"Did you plant deadly mold in my RV?"

"No…"

"Did you call and give the police false information so that my dad would get arrested?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you put poison in my coffee?"

"No! Beck, what are you getting at?"

He leaned forward a little, "Well if it's none of those things, then it can't be too bad can it?"

I laughed, this is why we were still friends, he always knew how to make me feel better. "Do you still think of us as dating? Because we don't really do any of the 'boyfriend-girlfriend' things, you know? I don't really think of you like that" I ducked my head down, "I think of you as one of my best friends,"

"I think of you as one of my best friends too, Jade." He reached across and tilted my chin up so I was looking at him. "I want you to be happy. I don't care who makes you happy." I squeaked

"Who said anything about someone else?" Did he already know? I hadn't told anyone and I didn't think Tori would want to tell anyone.

"No one said anything, I just kind of guessed." He said. I breathe a sigh a relief. It wasn't that I was worried about what people would think, or that they would abuse us or anything. Heck, we've got half a dozen gay couples and a few single gays. I just wanted to be able to announce it on my own terms, and make sure Tori was okay with it.

"So who is he?" Beck asked, leaning back with a smile on his face.

I could tell Beck, he wouldn't tell anyone else, plus I kind of wanted somebody to talk to about the whole thing. "It's not a 'he'" I said carefully.

"Oh?" he didn't seem too shocked, mostly interested. "Are you…"

"Gay? I don't know. All I know is that I really like her" I said with a sigh.

"Okay, so who is 'she'?" he said, his hand making a _go on_ motion.

"Tori Vega," I said.

His eyebrows jumped up in surprise again, "Tori Vega? The girl you fight like cats and dogs with, Tori?"

"Yeah," I laughed, "That Tori" I looked up at him.

"Huh, so how did that happen?" he asked.

So I pretty soon I was spilling the whole story out to him.

"And now she won't even look me in the eye!" I said, throwing my hands in the air. "I don't know what to do; I thought she had liked it as much as me. I thought she might be.. interested, you know?" I put my head into my hands, rubbing my temples. "What do you think I should do?"

"I think you should take her for a date." He said, in a very _duh_ voice.

I blushed, "I'm not sure I know …"

"How to do it? It's not that hard, Jade. This is what you do…"

**a/n** **So… second chapter up! I bet you can't guess what will happen in the next one! **

**Look, see that button? The one that says "review"? Guess what? CANDY COMES OUT WHEN YOU PRESS THAT! I know you want the (*cough* imaginary *cough* *cough*) candy! Seriously tell me how I did, because I am now addicted to reviews. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I DO (not) own Victorious.**

**a/n I never said where the candy came out… so… In other news… I MADE A TORI/JADE CONVERT! OH YEAH! *CONVERTER PRIDE*! Also I wrote that last chapter and then I was like "Oh shit, now I have to come up with an awesome plan for them! WHY DID I DO THAT?" I'm an idiot sometimes. Well… most of the time… but that's beside the point. Sorry**

Beck and I stayed at the cafe until we were thrown out, and by the time we left Beck had thoroughly explained what I should do. As Beck said, "Operation 'Snag a Tori' is a go for Monday" Since we met on Friday I had to wait all weekend to see her, and it almost killed me, but I finally made it. I walked into school in the morning and promptly felt like throwing up. What if she said no? What if she didn't feel the way I thought she felt? What if—

"Jade, are you ready for today?" Beck said as he grabbed my elbow in the hallway.

"No, I don't think I can do this, Beck," I said in a pleading voice, hanging on to him like I was falling off a cliff. Why did she have to make me feel this way? So weak, so unsure.

"Of course you can," he said smoothly, "Just remember how torn up you were when you didn't know what to do," He guiding me to my class room and gave me a little shove in. Oh my God, there she was, smiling and chatting with Cat about some nonsense Cat had gotten into. Her hair was shining with the sunlight that slanted in from the window. I thought I could spend the whole class just staring at her hair.

So I did.

I somehow made it through all the classes we had together and to lunch. The first part of our plan was about to go through. I sat with Beck like normal and ate my lunch. Then I whispered to him and beckoned him aside, where we started talking in low voices until he said, "What do you mean?" in a loud voice stepping away from me a bit. "Jade, I said I was sorry, we can work this out if we try, please!" I shook my head and said so everyone could hear "I'm sorry Beck, It's not you really; there's just someone else." I patted him on the arm and he jerked away. Rubbing at his eyes he said "Fine, I hope you're happy without me!" and strode away. Phase one complete.

As soon as classes were over I went and waited by her car to make sure I wouldn't miss her. I made some final adjustments to my project and hid behind a nearby car. After a few minutes of waiting I saw her walk out of the building. Suddenly my stomach was feeling tight and I wasn't sure I remembered how to breathe. I had to wipe my hands on my jeans, they were so sweaty. What if she just thought I was stupid? Maybe I should just leave now. But no, I couldn't just ignore what she did to me. The way I felt when I looked at her or the way I my stomach flipped when I thought about her. Too late now anyway, she was getting close. She stopped and peered at her windshield, trying to see what was on it.

She came closer and finally could make it out. She looked around and said, "Who's there? It's not Sinjin is it?"

I took one last deep breath and stepped out.

She jumped slightly when she saw me, like someone had rubbed their socks on a rug and shocked her.

"J-jade?" Damn she was cute when she stuttered.

"Yeah, it's me" Oh god, kill me now.

"What- this- you-" her face had gone all scrunched as she tried to puzzle everything out.

"Do you mean it?" she finally managed, gesturing at her wind shield, covered in Hershey kisses that spelled out 'Tori, will you go out with me?'

"Of course I do!" I looked up at her, and as nervous as I was, I had never meant something as much as I did then.

She smiled then, a small smile, still a bit unsure, but a smile. "This is very cheesy. It doesn't seem like something that the Jade West I know would do,"

"Well, maybe you don't know everything about me then," I said, and growing a little bolder I stepped closer to her."Oh really?" she said, her smile growing a bit.

I muttered under my breath "and maybe I had a little help,"

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said quickly, "So, um, what do you say?" I said motioning toward her car.

She stepped forward until we were standing toe to toe. She laced her arms behind my neck, and damn it, there went my stomach. She leaned forward slowly, keeping her eyes on mine the whole time, until our lips met, and it was like this jolt of something between us. She pulled back, and with both of us breathing a little unsteady said, "Is that a good enough answer?"

I nodded dumbly. She reached down and shyly entertained her hand with mine. Her hand was soft in mine as she leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder. We sat in silence for a moment before I said, "Are you free Wednesday?" why was my voice cracking?

She laughed, "Yeah, I think I am"

**a/n You guys make me cry. Because I look at the reviews and I'm like "oh my god, people don't hate me" and then I checked my email and it's filled with emails that say that people are adding my story to their favorites list and putting alerts on it and I just sat there and cried. When I started writing this I was thinking "okay, I'm gonna put this out there and wait for the messages that say 'OMG I H8 U, THIS STOARY HORIBLE'" but I haven't gotten a single message like that. In fact for some miraculous reason that I can't even fathom, you people actually think this is good. I love you, each and every one of you, and I cry, I cry from the happiness. Please *sniff* R-Review *sob* also, I have a formspring and tumblr now. Ask me stuff already. .com/ .me/AtlasDown**


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